"Crush Test Dummies" is the first segment of the first episode of season one of The Weekenders and the first episode of the series. It was paired with "Grow Up" and originally aired on February 26, 2000 on ABC.
The episode opens to Tino buying snacks from the Snack Shack for his friends and approaching the group, Tish, Lor, and Carver, who are waiting on a wall facing the beach. Tino hands them all Chug-a-Freezs and Lor comments that he didn't ask what they wanted. Tino sarcastically replies, "Oh right, like I don't know what you want," and proceeds to hand out the snacks he got for them without complaints and states that they are synchronized.
Later, at the mall, Tino and Carver decide they want to get chili cheese fries, and tell Lor and Tish to save the group a table. After they leave, Lor and Tish walk over to a table and Lor spots Thompson Oberman, the guy she has a crush on. Lor explains to Tish that she 'has to make him love her', and Tish offers to help her get Thompson's attention by giving Lor a makeover. Lor accepts Tish's offer, and realizes Carver could help, as he is a 'fashion genius'. However, as Tino and Carver are approaching the table, they only overhear Lor say, "I need Carver. I have to make him love me!"
The two boys panic, believing the whole sentence was applied to Carver without knowing Lor was speaking about Thompson as well, since Lor's crush could change the group's dynamic. However, rather than discussing Lor's feelings with her, Carver chooses to ignore it until it goes away. This fails when Lor tells Carver she needs him, which frightens Carver, and he runs away. Tino follows shortly after failing to give Lor a good excuse as to why the two are shaken up. The two hide out in Tino's room where they converse about the issue while Tino creates made-up data to show how the group's 'fun levels' will plunge because of Lor's crush.
That night during dinner, Tino confides in his mother about the problem. Ms. Tonitini tells Tino that Carver needs to talk to Lor about her feelings, but Tino argues that Carver is a guy, and therefore is not likely to talk about his feelings. Ms. Tonitini counters that Carver ignoring the situation won't make it go away, but Tino is too concerned about what he's eating to listen. When he learns it's squid, he leaves the dinner table.
The next morning, Tino finds Carver in his backyard and the latter admits he's in a panic spiral. Tino shares his mother's advice, but Carver decides replacing Lor would be a better idea. Meanwhile, Lor is at Tish's house receiving a makeover from Mrs. Katsufrakis while Tish writes a poem for Lor to give to Thompson. To Lor's horror, the makeover Mrs. Katsufrakis has given her turns out to be the same exact look Mrs. Katsufrakis wears, and when she leaves the room, Lor removes her makeover. Tish then recites the poem she wrote, but Lor is not impressed with that either. Later on, the two girls go to the mall to try find a new outfit for Lor, but when Lor comes out of the dressing room, she is wearing the same exact clothes as Tish, who agrees that the outfit is too classy for Lor.
With the makeover being a failure, the girls decide to go to Funville to play pool. There, Lor decides she'll simply ignore Thompson when he approaches her, surprising her. He asks if her name is Lor and receives an unintelligible response from her. He then says he saw her play soccer and that she was good, and leaves the arcade.
Lor is upset about having humiliated herself because her mouth stopped working, but Tish reminds her that Thompson complimented her soccer playing skills, meaning he likes her.
Meanwhile, Carver and Tino ask Ms. Tonitini to replace Lor in their group for a while, but this only angers her, since Carver is willing to ruin his friendship with Lor to avoid speaking about his feelings. She leaves the garage in a huff, and Tino agrees with his mom by reminding Carver that they are ignoring Lor because they don't the group to change, but not hanging around Lor will change things too.
The two boys show up at Funville, surprising the girls. Carver approaches Lor saying they need to talk and Lor agrees, saying she wants Carver to come to the mall with her. Carver is adamant that they speak of their feelings first, confusing Lor when he confesses his fear of their relationship changing. Lor questions "how?" while Carver continues speaking. She then stops him, asking, "What are you talking about?" Carver realizes he was incorrect about Lor's crush and Lor realizes what he was implying as well. She begins to laugh at him, correcting him by saying he's like a brother to her. Carver is embarrassed, and Tish offers him a game of pool, though it won't save his dignity.
Tino then speaks to the audience and admits that he was at fault as well, since he shouldn't have believed Carver when he proclaimed Lor to be in love with him.
However, the group are still in-sync with each other, something that is proven by Tino ducking in time to avoid a ball Tish hit too hard. He concludes the episode by saying "Later days!"
- Grey DeLisle as Lor MacQuarrie
- Kisa Kaplan as Ms. Tonitini
- Phil LaMarr as Carver Descartes
- Jason Marsden as Tino Tonitini
- Kath Soucie as Tish Katsufrakis
- Kerri Kenny as Mrs. Katsufrakis
- Robbie Rist as Thompson Oberman
- Running gags:
- "What am I eating here?": Squid
- "Is what I say!" "Fashion" is mistaken for "fishin'"
- The episode's title is a parody of the band Crash Test Dummies.
- This episode's production code is '103', meaning it was the third episode to be produced.
- This episode starts off with Saturday instead of Friday, like the rest of the series.
- Tino reveals he, Tish, Lor, and Carver have spent every weekend together since they were in first grade.
- The scene of the four sipping their Chug-a-Freez at the beach is shown in the opening theme.
- This is the first time Lor tries to get a makeover to impress Thompson. She successfully receives one in "Makeover", tries to change something about herself in "Brain Envy", and gives herself one again in "Tutor".
- The scene of Carver freaking out in the mall is used in his character introduction in the opening theme.
- In this episode, Tino doesn't want anyone to know he asked his mom for advice. In later episodes, he is open about it.
- When Lor admits to Tish that she doesn't like her poem, the color of her shirt changes from red to black.
- The scene of Lor laughing at Carver is used in her character introduction in the opening theme.